


Playing With Fire

by freddiejoey



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-31
Updated: 2011-08-31
Packaged: 2017-10-23 07:16:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/247628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freddiejoey/pseuds/freddiejoey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Be careful how you play with fire or you will be burned.......</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing With Fire

Part One

“Daddy, look acrobats.” Five year old Theodore runs ahead, having spied the colourful troupe of tumblers about to begin performing at the end of the meadow. Kai sighs, hefts Cedric on to one hip, hoists Kaitlin on to the other. It has been a long hot day, preceded by a stop and start ride with many interruptions for feeding the squirrels and the stretching of cramped young legs. Probably a mistake to bring all three children to the markets outside Hereward’s village – but Llud of course had insisted. No prouder grandfather existed in Britannia – or indeed all the world.

Speaking of Llud………Kai looks around for his father and sees him deep in conversation with a silversmith who is proffering a selection of gem-set rings. A gift for Olwen. Catching Llud’s gaze, Kai gestures toward the dancers and funambulists, indicating that is where he and the children are headed. Llud nods and smiles, obviously ready to bargain shrewdly with the unsuspecting silversmith.

The acrobats are actually highly proficient for a country troupe – and it is rather a relief to sit still in one place watching their antics. More of a relief to have a respite from childish questions and bickering. His sons and Arthur’s daughter observe everything, wide-eyed and silent for once. It is such a novelty.

When all the entertainment is concluded, Kai stays seated for a moment, noting ruefully how the children are starting to droop now that the excitement is over. Hopefully they will sleep for most of the way home – he has clear memories of Elka and Krist slumbering comfortably on horseback…………

“Are all these yours?” A polite lilting voice - and an unfamiliar one at that. Shading his eyes against the sun, Kai glances up at the unknown questioner. Tall and graceful, in fact memorably beautiful, thick curly chestnut hair, liquid brown eyes, skin that would make an Aphrodite marble envious, perhaps five and twenty – and a man. One arm in a sling. An injured acrobat by his vibrant garb. At his side, a little boy about Theo’s age, clearly his son. Kai blinks, still confused……..then suddenly old memories come rushing in and he is chilled to the marrow……….

Rising slowly to his feet, carefully dislodging Cedric and Kaitlin from his lap, he grapples to remember the man’s name. Only a pretty youth last time they had met. Damon? Dane? No Dalon, that was it. Dalon who could swallow fire………and enkindle it also………

Politely Kai takes Dalon’s outstretched hand. No need to be churlish, even if he would rather caress a viper. “Not all mine no – the two boys are. The little girl is my brother’s. And this fine little fellow plainly belongs to you.” Smiling, Dalon gathers the handsome child up into his good arm. “Yes, my son Gara. It was my wife Bria who you saw earlier on the wire. I usually work with her, but I’ll still have my wings clipped for a few weeks to come.” Then his cinnamon eyes narrow. “Are you here with your wife? Perhaps if she could tend to the children later we could……..renew our acquaintance over a cup of adder’s sting? Your preference as I remember……”

Never has Kai been so relieved to hear Llud’s heavy determined footfalls behind him…….. “No, I’m sorry. I’m here with my father and we have a decent journey back to our village. A good day’s ride – longer with the children to consider.” Dalon looks sceptically at Llud who is striding toward them, silver hand prominently on display. “Yes, well, it was good to see you again after all these years. God speed. My best to your family.” He melts back into the crowd as Llud reaches them, grinning in satisfaction. Patently, the silversmith has not pocketed as many bronze pieces as he had initially hoped.

“Grandad.” Theo throws his arms excitedly around Llud’s knees. “We saw a man on stilts and people tumbling and a lady on a wire and some puppets…..” Llud laughingly takes his elder grandson’s hand. “Alright Theo, slow down my boy. It sounds wonderful but you can tell me all about it on the ride home……..”

“You’ve been quiet this evening.” Across the camp fire, Llud thoughtfully watches Kai. Pretending to tuck the perfectly straight sheepskins around Kaitlin once more, Kai avoids his father’s gaze. “Just tired. Nothing more. These three are lively without Lenni or Rowena for relief.” Pursing his lips, Llud finishes his mead and wanders off to the encircling darkness to attend to a call of nature.

By the time he returns, Kai is rolled up in a swathe of blankets, seemingly asleep. Lying down beside him, Llud waits a moment before murmuring softly, well aware that Kai can hear every word. “If that was who I think it was this afternoon at the markets, set it aside. All so long ago and best forgotten. It means nothing now – certainly to your brother. It hasn’t meant a thing to him for years – you know that.”

Not moving, Kai listens to their father settle amongst his fleeces and soon after, his gentle snoring. Llud is right………it was something from another lifetime……… when everything was still so fragile and new……..before he and Arthur had fully set fire to the rain……..before they had properly learnt to keep their hearts strong, even as their knees grew weak………

Something best consigned to oblivion………why then do the tears still stream down his cheeks, drenching his hair with bitter wet salt……..?

“I taught you how to fight. Now you must learn when and why.........then you'll be a man.” Proud practical words to Corin, meant to stir his soul on the return journey to his village. Six or seven days ride to the north……..almost to the land of the Picts....... almost to the land where a bond can only bend so far before it breaks………almost all the way to the waters of Lethe………

Arthur will be gone for a week, perhaps longer………so Kai’s traditional time to bed a woman or two……… or three……….Little Leesa has ripened recently, no longer little in fact, well-rounded and shapely and quite breathtaking. She has always signalled her interest……….Or lovely Arleta whose father is a shepherd out near the great oak forest……….or voluptuous Maud, the young widow of a charcoal burner…..

He is still anticipating the pleasure of choice late on that first afternoon, weary after a full day of work in the forge, when the acrobats arrive. Their leader comes to consult with Llud – in return for being able to camp beside the river and some food and drink, they will provide a performance for the village. Affably Llud agrees. It will be a welcome diversion.

And so soon after supper, the exhibition commences. Dextrous feats indeed, far beyond the talents usually displayed by travelling tumblers……..and clowns and comics and musicians……..and one young fire eater………

Supple and slender and exquisite. Burnished reddish-brown hair and alabaster skin. Sixteen or seventeen summers, a pretty angel, only lacking feathery wings.

With almost arrogant poise, he stands with his willowy legs set apart so that he is properly balanced. Tilts back that glossy head with his nose and mouth pointing straight up. Sticks out his wet red tongue so that it is wide and flat.

Then slowly he lowers the fiery torch on to his tongue, takes the torch into his sensuous mouth with his tongue and closes his velvety lips almost entirely around the shaft of the torch.

Finally, somehat wantonly, he quenches the flame, putting it out with a lavish puff of air. Across the heads of the assembled villagers, his eyes meet Kai’s, dancing with confidence and brazen invitation. Amid the rapturous cheering and applause, he bows and twirls, revelling in every adulatory moment, still steadily holding Kai’s gaze.

Kai feels his cock blooming, as hard as a bolt, as straight as a trident…….

Later he would be able to blame his overgenerous quaffing of adder’s sting…….his exhaustion after toiling at the blacksmith’s side all day………..the erotic undertones of the fire-swallowing act……….the youthful swallower’s startling brilliant beauty………He could blame one of these things or all if he was so inclined but he doesn’t because he cannot – he alone is culpable, stripped bare, guilty to the marrow of his soul…………

Girls are an accepted indulgence on both sides – yet somehow he knows that this betrayal is distinct.

He is Kai who belongs to Arthur – Kai the butcher of Arthur’s heart……….

Never does he remember much – whether deliberately or otherwise he will never be sure. Simply that when the acrobats have completed their exploits, Llud tells his elder son that he is off to wallow among the sheepskins. Walks away smiling knowingly, no doubt thinking that Kai will wake up tomorrow, with a sore head and his face between Leesa’s warm breasts.

Instead, Kai finds himself sharing a cup of rich fruity wine, then two and three with the comely fire-eater. Dalon, his name is. He was born into the life of an acrobat – his parents are also performers. Likes the constant travelling, the lure of new places, not knowing what is around the next bend in the river or curve in the road.

Kai finds Dalon quick-witted and humorous. Already he is missing Arthur more than any casual coupling with a girl could ever possibly assuage. But it is all that is on offer – that and perhaps just one more goblet of adder’s sting before returning to the longhouse……

In the end it seems inevitable. They wander apart from the others into the woods, find an inviting pile of leaves, lie down on their cloaks.

Dalon is strong and lithe, agile……..and experienced. Kai’s is certainly not the first swollen cock that has throbbed in his tight slick pucker. Their mating is as scorching and torrid as his fire-eating. As sensual and raw too. Afterwards, Kai does not recall falling asleep – only that when the darkness descends it is absolute and dreamless……….

When he wakes up it is fully mid-morning. His head is pounding with a dull roaring rhythm and for some still baffling reason he has spent the night in the forest, wrapped in his fur cloak, otherwise naked. Rolling over, Kai is violently sick, then lies back, his temples thumping, his stomach clenching and growling.

However has he ended up here? More importantly, who shared his nest of leaves? That wet stickiness against his bare arse isn’t spilt wine……….

Cautiously he sits up, blinking, looking out through the rustling undergrowth, out toward the river and the meadow where so recently he and Arthur and Llud taught young Corin to fight. Blowing lazily across the grass are a few colourful ribbons, a spangled tassel, a stray golden wreath. The acrobats are gone then, taking their fripperies and tricks and dreams with them………

Then memory - stark and fresh and immutable – comes flooding in………and Kai is overwhelmed by anguish………

 

Part Two

It is one of the most desolate weeks of Kai’s life – until the advent of Benedicta. Though he is not to know that now since he is no soothsayer.

How to tell Arthur? What to tell Arthur? If to tell Arthur?

Llud can sense that something is askew but surmises that it is simply trouble over a girl. Coupling with some young warrior’s betrothed and being caught in the act perhaps. Well, his elder son will live and learn – young cocks are always delving into forbidden lairs.

Kai drinks a little too much, sleeps badly, looks hollow. On the fourth day Lenni finds him sitting behind the longhouse, axe binding idle in his hands, brown eyes idly gazing. “Is there anything I can do? Anything that you need? Whichever girl it is……?” Her fingers weave and cease, stroking his untidy blonde hair, craving to stroke lower……….

Laughing bleakly, Kai catches her fingers, grazes them with his lips, grazes her soul….. “No thank you sweet Lenni. Nothing anyone can do but me and I’m still not sure……. It’ll be alright, it has to be……..” Lenni smiles sadly. So that’s it. Not a girl at all. Business with Arthur.

Funny though………she could have sworn that everything was sound before Arthur rode away with Corin. No actually, she is certain it was since her own heart inevitably twitches when Kai’s quivers, just as it is shuddering now ……Well, least said, soonest mended……..no doubt when Arthur comes home, the situation will right itself without too much ruckus.

Eventually Kai decides to say nothing. He will learn to bear the festering guilt alone, somehow govern his clamouring conscience. Bitterly he remembers an ancient adage that Llud is fond of repeating at cautionary moments: “Be careful what you wish for……since the gods just may grant it.” And he had wished for Arthur to be his, pining for the moon, thirsting for the stars. Now, after so much agonizing and turmoil, Arthur is his at last, body and soul it would seem – and what has he done? Smashed the miracle into shivered fragments……….

Then after ten days Arthur rides in through the palisade.

Beautiful, beloved, betrayed………

Waiting until Llud has completed his fatherly welcome and left his sons alone in the longhouse bedroom. Flashing Kai an exuberant smile, blue eyes twinkling, coming close to claim his big brother’s inviting mouth in a hot hungry kiss. “Did you have a girl while I was gone?” Arthur nuzzles Kai’s neck, spiders one hand tantalizingly across his thigh. “No.” Kai looks at Arthur’s incredulous grin with feigned amusement. If only his exhilaration could be real……

“Why, did you?” His little brother laughs out loud. “Actually yes.......a very pretty little thing that serves in Corin's longhouse. She was lovely.......if not you. But then, my heart, you are no girl.”

Swirling his cloak to conceal the luxuriant swell in the front of his breeches, Arthur glances down at Kai’s answering bulge, traces fiery fingers across Kai’s jaw, feels Kai’s tremulous shiver. “Perhaps if we ask nicely, Llud could be persuaded to form a dicing party up in the guest quarters tonight, with a new vat of wine? Now my Kai, I really must go and see to a dozen things that apparently cannot be put off for another minute, starting with Gobnat’s latest complaint – whatever nonsense that shall be.” He winks gleefully and is gone.

Left alone, Kai sinks on to the end of his bed, tousled head in hands, heart pounding. Everything seems to be in lively working order – in fact, far better than lively. Up to him now to banish the last stupid remnants of regret and self-condemnation. It meant no more or less than the girl that Arthur had bedded in Corin’s village. A willing consensual encounter – not intended to wound or last beyond the next cock crow. A foolish mistake – yet never to be repeated. Perhaps then forgivable one day?

Then, just before sunset, the acrobats return…………

Llud once more goes out to meet them, beaming congenially. They are journeying back from the coast, on their way to Dirk’s territory and then Ambrose’s. Can they camp again beside the river? And yes, they will be pleased to stage another performance since the first had been so enthusiastically received.

From inside the palisade, Kai watches their preparations with dizzying disbelief. Even from this distance he can make out Dalon’s bright hair and lissom form. Icy sweat breaks out along his nape, dread starts to gallop in his head and goad his heart. Surely though, if he is cautious and with Arthur at his side, nothing untoward need occur? Surely………….

In fact, it seems that all will be well after all. He and Arthur sit pressed together on the edge of the enthralled audience, Arthur’s ardent fingers surreptitiously stroking his back. Tonight, gazing at Dalon, there is no residual itch in his cock. The young fire-eater is simply an appealing boy, teetering on the verge of manhood, a talented tumbler. Meanwhile, Kai melts into Arthur, dazed with love and promise.

Towards the end of the evening, Dalon makes a pretty apology. There will be no fire-swallowing unfortunately – a few days ago he was a little careless when dousing the flame and the torch’s shaft has lightly burned his lips. But instead, he and the alluring Bria will dance on the wire for them. Something at which Dalon proves equally consummate. Capering in the empty starry air without a net – the story of his life perhaps………….

When the acts are concluded, Arthur strides forward with his thanks – while Kai looks around for Lenni. If he can simply offer to walk her back to her hut, gain the refuge of the longhouse, help Llud on the way to the guest quarters with that fermented nectar……….

Lenni is several feet away, laughing with Llud. Smiling, Kai signals to her that they should return to the village together, sees her delighted smile in return, suspects that she may also be blushing. Then, without warning, he feels warm fervent fingers encircling his wrist.

Dalon. Gazing at him with open longing, brazen want. Furiously Kai flings aside the fire-eater’s bedevilling hand, glances up helplessly, sees that Llud and Lenni have seen and understood.

As has Arthur…………

Standing at the edge of the firelight, looking straight at Kai with desire and love……..that is now fluxing into revulsion and horror…………

 

Part Three

“You bedded him.” It is a statement, certainly not a question, not even an accusation. Kai drops his gaze, releases a heavy breath, simply nods. “Knowing what we are to each other now or what I thought I was to you........you bedded a boy, a wandering tumbler?” Arthur takes a few steps away, turns his back, claws his clenched fingers down his forehead, feeling the skin graze.

Somehow, though Kai will never recall how, they have stumbled back to the longhouse. The door wardens have been curtly instructed to admit no-one on pain of a good lashing and now he and Arthur are alone……….

Gently, Kai puts an appeasing hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “It meant nothing to me.......an itch to scratch, no more.....he meant nothing......... just as the girl in Corin's village......Arthur I love you..... only you......you must be certain........” Savagely he throws Kai off, wheeling to face him. “Yes, the girl in Corin's village, the girl Kai.........don't you see........Tell me something then, is this the first time you've fucked another man or let one put your cock in his mouth since we've been together?”

 

Flooded by grim desolation, Arthur watches all the colour leach from Kai's face, until it is ivory against his pale hair. “How many? When?” A low murmur. “This is only the second time......the other was when I went trading in Cornwall with Llud soon after I returned Elka and Krist......we weren't.........as one.....you were troubled.......it was someone I met in a tavern, young and willing........and I was very drunk......”

 

Suddenly enraged beyond reason, Arthur places both hands against the wood of the table. Seemingly calm, but his tone now is clipped and cold and implacable. …...... “Of course, you had had too much mead – or fucking adder’s sting. Of course it excuses everything............ and I was not troubled before riding to Corin's village.......I had rather thought we were as one when I had your prick between my lips the night before.” Very slowly he sits down in his great carved chair.

 

“Alright Kai, let me entertain you with a tale of my own. When I was sixteen I fell in love with the sun and the moon and the stars. I didn't quite know what was happening but I was aware it was new and overwhelming and wonderful – and that I never wanted the feelings to end. Oh that's right......I was falling in love with you.”

 

It is deathly quiet. Kai keeps his eyes averted, looking into the cold bread hearth. As cold and ashen as his heart.......

 

“You see, for a long time, I thought there was something very wrong with me. I was a grotesque, an aberration of nature – you were as a brother to me and all at once.........Then I simply thought, well I am one of those men who are not stirred by women, even though you had arranged a girl for me already and I had enjoyed that well enough. So I started to look at the other boys when we bathed in the river – some of them quite beautiful youths too as you would know. I could admire their beauty, yet beyond that……..Absolutely nothing – my prick stayed as flat as the earth. Yet one glimpse at you and up it went, hard as granite. Not to mention what happened to other parts of me as well.”

 

“ Similar things if I gazed at Esla's arse or Lenni’s breasts – off to the privy, to beat the abbot. You were coupling with half of the village girls. I became totally confused, thinking that I must be some sort of monstrous rarity, liking women, in love with my big brother. What the fuck was I ? And then one day I realised........I wasn't in love with you because you were a man, I was in love with you simply because you were you........”

 

Arthur's voice cracks. “We've always both known what will be necessary for me one day. I'm the chieftain – it is expected that I marry. And I've never known quite how that could be since there was you and I, there once was us.......... Now I suppose you've made it easy for me.” He rises to his feet, briefly closes his eyes, gives a bitter snort of laughter.

 

“You see, that's why the girls you bedded never irked me at all..... I thought I was to you as you were to me.........apart........special.........precious........that we were both somehow alike. At least I've seen my error. You are the monstrosity, not me.” Slowly Arthur opens his eyes, the blue glistening with unshed tears – yet also gleaming blue ice. “Now, get the fuck out of my longhouse.”

 

It is rather ironic that it is he, Kai, who eventually spends the night in the guest quarters, in such a stupor of bewilderment and fear that even weeping is inconceivable. What to do when the sun rises seems far too difficult a proposition to ever contemplate…………

 

Although that task is at least adeptly dealt with just after dawn, when Lenni appears with a tray of bread and fruit. “No matter what has happened…….you are still a warrior of this village and you must eat. Nothing good ever comes of starving the body as well as the soul.” She sits quietly waiting, not surprised or alarmed at how the crusty loaf is transformed into mush by his hot tears. Salt, rather than honey, for sweetening, but no doubt far more cleansing.

 

There will be a time a few months later when they are summoned to Mark’s village in order to deal with Rolf the Preacher. (A decidedly unwelcome summoning by that stage since, as Kai will bluntly inform Mark, “Llud is not here”and a happy idyll is being rudely interrupted………) On the way to Cornwall, Arthur will laughingly tell Kai that he can make free with the village girls and suffer no reproaches - a strategic tactic to offset Rolf’s blathering certainly, but also a veiled reference to Kai’s behaviour during the weeks following Dalon’s high-wire cavorting.

 

Firstly little Leesa, preening complacently at the water trough………then Arleta, with the vindication of watching for Saxon longboats from the east…………Maud, bolstered by the need to scout for pillaging Picts in the forest……… And those are the ones Llud knows about. Undoubtedly there is a good handful he is not aware of.

 

Kai trying to prove what to himself? Or to Arthur? Or perchance simply allaying his grief in the best or only way he knows how.

Weeks when Kai is hardly seen inside the longhouse, always off on defensive business that takes him away from the village, working incessantly out in the fields or the forge, leading hunting parties, training the village boys in axe-craft. Certainly Arthur has no cause for complaint where his work as his brother’s lieutenant is concerned.

By night he sleeps……….somewhere. Never in the longhouse bedroom. Never in the same bed more than twice if Llud is any judge. Sometimes, if he is especially drunk, on a pallet in Lenni’s hut.

Lenni, in and out of the longhouse every day, fetches anything Kai needs. With grief, yet with obdurate determination. Let Arthur utter one word and he will be sorry, whatever the circumstances of the rift. Stonily silent, Arthur says nothing.

Once, finding Kai alone in the stables, Llud puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I miss you my Saxon son.” Savage tears stinging those beautiful brown eyes. “I would do anything to make it right. But I don’t know……..” And neither do I, thinks Llud bitterly. For once, I am absolutely lost…………..

Until Arthur starts having nightmares. For days he and Llud have been circling each other like predatory wolves. Ever since the morning after the acrobats’ second performance, when Arthur had begun methodically gathering Kai’s gear together – obviously with eviction in mind.

Ferociously Llud had begun putting Kai’s possessions back in his chest, beside his abandoned bed. “Don’t you ever think to do something like this while I still live and breathe……….Kai is my son too, just as much as you are - and just as much loved…….You may be the chieftain, but I am your father – and never forget it.” His ferocity held. Arthur quietly left the bedroom and the matter was not referred to again……

The first time it happens in the middle of the night, Llud ascribes it to exhaustion. All the way to Cornwall and back in less than three days. Complete madness – irrespective of what is being assuaged. Yelling, weeping, sheepskins drenched in sweat. Black hair tangled and blue eyes wide. Llud provides fresh dry bedding, soothes him back to sleep. Of course, no mention of it at breakfast. More stiff efficiency.

But the second time it happens and the third…………

 

 

Arthur, so pale and hollow-eyed in the morning that Lenni makes placatory gestures. Behind his younger son’s back, Llud silently agrees and signs his needs. Yes, a draught of some kind is warranted. Could she please go to her hut and concoct something suitable? Thank you sweet girl.

 

Leaving him and Arthur alone. Decisively Llud clears his throat and sits down at the table. Although he cannot clearly gauge Arthur’s mood, through that concealing curtain of silky dark hair……… “Look Arthur, I could go back over the past. Talk about your challenge while those geese Garet and Gawain watched on. Be very perceptive and sage if I so chose. But frankly I don’t see the point. You already know all this anyway – and far more intimately than me.”

 

Tentatively, Llud puts his good hand over Arthur’s, laying idly, palm up on the scarred wood. Half expecting it to be angrily snatched away, he is relieved when Arthur remains unmoving. “I can tell you a few things though if you’re willing to listen……..Your brother made a mistake –and one that he’ll no doubt regret for the rest of his life. But I would stake my own life that he will never repeat it. He’s in anguish Arthur, with no idea how to make matters right between you……….Now these nightmares. You haven’t suffered them since you were a child and your mother…….went away. Nightmares of loss and bereavement.”

 

Suddenly he feels Arthur’s fingers clench around his, warm and insistent. So perhaps…….. “Just tell me this………what are you when you’re with him?” A low murmur. “Happy.” Llud smiles softly. ‘Who do you most want to be with right now in this moment Arthur?” Another hushed whisper. “Kai.”

 

Overwhelmed by relief, Llud lets out a pent-up sigh. “Then why are you wasting time here with your old father, wily and wise though I might be? What are you waiting for?” At last the satin ebony is swept aside. Arthur’s blue eyes glow with desolation. “But I cannot say what needs to be………..and there were things said on my side too…….perhaps indefensible……I have failed him often enough before this…..you know that……been cold and cruel……..so now……...to restore what was once between us……..when I try the words will not come………”

 

Finally, a problem to which he has a ready solution……..Llud’s smile widens. “Well, unlike me, you two can read well enough thanks to Brother Amlodd. Simply write it then………..”

 

He doesn’t particularly want to go to the longhouse this morning – even knowing that Arthur has ridden out through the palisade some time earlier. Kai pleads with Lenni. “Please sweetheart, be a good girl.” For once though she is uncooperative. “If you want your other short sword, you must fetch it yourself. I’m far too busy. Off to the store hut in a minute.”

Reluctantly Kai enters his erstwhile home, looking around almost furtively. If his usual weapon wasn’t so blunted from the village boys’ thrashing and swiping……

The parchment is resting on his pillow. On the bed where his head has not rested for days.

Curiously he reaches down, picks it up, begins to read………and his breath is stilled…….

“My Kai

I asked what you are – a stupid, already long-answered question anyway. Since the reply is simple. You are my heart – now and forever more if you will permit.

After failing you again. Transforming nothing into something insurmountable as I have so many times before.

All I know is that I am so often lacking, utterly derelict in loving you and yet I love you. I love you. Greedily. Clumsily. Perhaps hopelessly. But more truly than the stars do the night sky.

Forgive me. I am broken.

Arthur.”

 

Part Four

Then ludicrously he cannot find Arthur……..having spent so long reading and re-reading, sniffling and trembling in joy and hope……….Up to the store hut, Olwen’s friendly husband Perry, trying to be helpful…… “Yes, he and Lenni were here earlier, getting some pheasants and a basket of vegetables, don’t know where they were headed after that though young Kai…….” Down to Lenni’s hut……….absolutely empty……..ah, there’s the girl herself, plucking the birds in the sunshine……….. “Arthur?” her hands strewn with feathers……….Sign woman, for the love of the gods, sign…….. “Helped me earlier with these birds for tomorrow’s supper……..I think he’s gone to see the boys’ weapons practice…… perhaps”………..(although he does not see Lenni’s knowing smile as she resumes her busy tweaking)……… Out beside the river………an eager line of boys with wooden swords…….Llud barking instructions………no Arthur……….bloody hell………. “Your brother?..........lunge from the shoulder……….aim for the heart………….shield arm higher……….Gone to look at one of the hunting dogs with Tugram I believe……..” (another discerning grin)…………Around behind the village to the dog pens………there’s Tugram, fondly patting a smooth brindle canine head and ………..still no Arthur……..oh fuck this……..where in the name of Hades?………… “Good-looking animal isn’t he? Arthur thinks so too…………” more affectionate scratching of the stupid mutt’s belly……. “Did he say where he was off to…….? No, not that I heard………..Here Kai, give us a hand with this gate will you? Hold it steady while I bang in a few nails………now where is he off to in such a tearing hurry?.......... the impatience of youth…….Well Thor (turning to the favoured dog)……It looks like I’ll just have to handle the gate myself………”

Back to the longhouse in utter despair………push open the doors, not caring if the door wardens wonder why he is so close to tears………and there standing at the table, deep in conversation with Leesa’s father Glew is Arthur…………

Heart seared, knees gone to thistledown, melting into finespun gossamer………

A very careful smile……….(only the most beautiful sight in the whole world)……..a cautious glance from those wondrous blue eyes………..(and if I, Kai the Saxon who rides with Arthur, can stay upright for the next few minutes it will be a far greater miracle than the measly wine at Cana……)

“So, I think we’ll check all the warning systems tomorrow. Make sure they’re not slack or otherwise need repair. Thank you Glew.” Politely Arthur begins to usher the older man outside. On his way past, one fervent whisper…

“Linger with me……..”

One equally feverish murmured reply……… “Forever beloved……..”

How does he maintain such implacable composure until Glew is gone, the outer doors barred – (firmly to the door wardens, “If you see Llud, can you tell our father that Tugram has asked him to share the evening meal…..”) - and he has turned, leaning against them, silently regarding me with………..No, I can stand it not one fucking second longer………

“Arthur……….never again I swear on Llud’s life…….. the only thing I know is that I’m yours – till the end of time if that’s what you want………” and Kai gets not one word further, entangled in a long deep kiss, Arthur moaning softly into his mouth, tongues dancing, their warm bodies pressed insatiably into each other.

“What……..my love?” Kai crushes his famished lips against Arthur’s hair, savouring his brother’s fragrant scent, the sweet curve of his neck, the manifest truth of him, here, encircled by Kai’s arms, real and certain. “Nothing…….yet……..just hold me.”

The overwhelming revelation of it………the sheer bliss………until, finally, Arthur breaks away a little, grinning in joy, guiding Kai’s hand steadily downwards…….

Reaching inside Arthur’s breeches, too weakened to wait, Kai grasps Arthur’s rampant shaft, falls to his knees, devours the head with ravenous lips. Sucking the tip, his fiery gaze remains fixed on Arthur’s, as his little brother’s rigid length slowly disappears into his wet mouth.

A guttural groan escapes Arthur. Kai’s dextrous tongue is lathering his turgid cock, running in glistening grooves along its underside, delivering soft tender lashes and harder tapered licks.

Then smiling, he removes his silken lips from around Arthur’s throbbing prick, letting one hand travel freely up and down the spittle-soaked shaft, taking Arthur’s swollen balls into his mouth.

 

Arthur feels Kai’s lips gradually part, completely surrounding his balls, sucking gently, wriggling his tongue as his nimble fingers continue to stroke and glide.

All at once that smooth pink tongue dives downward, flickering teasingly against the ticklish diamond-shaped area between Arthur’s pucker and the base of his cock, sending thunderous bolts of exquisite pleasure roaring through Arthur’s body.

“Mmmmmm.” Kai hums wickedly, as Arthur tosses back his black head, knees perishing into water. The impish tongue starts to slide in small delicious circles around the dark velvet of his entrance………

“No, my heart………if……….please………the bedroom.” Gasping and panting, legs rendered utterly good-for-nothing.

Somehow they crawl and falter into the bedroom, bar the door, pitch headlong into Arthur’s bed.

Clutching the sheepskins, Arthur pushes up his slender legs, whimpering while Kai’s lips brush against the curves of his arse, flurry into his tight dusky opening. Without warning his big brother resumes the delicious tongue lashing, stabbing Arthur’s cleft with short quick thrusts, swabbing in long sensuous swipes.

One torrid fingertip begins to caress his freshly-licked cheeks, another to quicken and prod provocatively within………

Every sinew in Arthur’s body grapples, gripped by rapture, bracing for the inevitable unruly summit.

Smoothly Kai dives a wet finger further into his little brother’s inky opening, then an intrepid second……an audacious third…….a triumphant fourth……..writhing past Arthur’s muscular ring………..sliding in slow and deep.

Arthur’s arse reflexively contracts, clamping Kai’s rippling fingers, his other hand bewitching Arthur’s pulsating cock again with hasty intent.

Groaning roughly, Arthur bucks against Kai’s curling fingers, violently arches his back, relinquishes impassioned control to the inescapable………the irresistible………..

Kai’s hot mouth cups just in time, moaning in approval as he tastes the creamy come, pulling back to take the subsequent spurts deftly on his tongue, opening his eyes in wide elation, gazing steadily at Arthur as he sucks down every thick white drop his little brother has to offer.

They lie back in heaving euphoria on the sweaty fleeces, grinning stupidly. “I think you had better come home my Kai.” The miracle of hearing those two simple words coupled together again…………

“Do you even know how much I love you, how beautiful you are beloved?” Kai leans over to kiss Arthur’s ripe mouth as Arthur erupts into riotous laughter. Another miraculous sound……… “My heart……..in all our haste and passion……..you’ve still got your breeches on.” Arthur’s grin becomes elfish, looking down at how the black fabric is being pyramided by Kai’s burgeoning cock. “Alright……since Llud has always taught us how virtuous it is to share………big brother, it’s your turn.”

Tenderly Kai’s lips part, welcoming the intrusion of Arthur’s succulent tongue, feeling those fettering breeches being pulled away from his supple round arse, the sudden cool rush of air against his swollen prick. He grinds his pelvis into Arthur’s encircling thigh, leaving a trail of moist warmth.

Smiling wickedly, Arthur plants a soft kiss on Kai’s engorged rubescent shaft, winging an amorous shiver through Kai’s body, tantalising every tendon with delirious anticipation. Kissing his way up the underside of his brother’s bolt upright manhood, Arthur is overcome by the heady aroma of arousal, toppled by love.

Arthur replaces his mouth with a rhythmically milking fist, plunges his lips greedily into Kai’s beguiling pucker, closes his eyes in ecstasy. Kai clenches his thighs, relishing every exquisite sensation as Arthur’s sodden tongue drives deep inside him, sucking fiercely at his dusky entrance.

Without warning, Kai grunts roughly, arcing his hips against Arthur’s face. Rapturously Arthur licks Kai’s pulsing arse bud, feeling his big brother’s flagrant cock threatening to rupture within his fondling palm.

“Fuck me with your fingers, my love……..or it will be too late…….”

Hurriedly Arthur drenches his hand in saliva, manoeuvring it adroitly within Kai’s slick hole, twisting and sliding, once again finding that throbbing button…snaking inside those sweet damp confines…….Once he tickles……..twice he darts……….and………..

He isn’t quite as timely as Kai……….some of the squirting pearly juices glisten in his raven hair, glow on his cheeks………although Arthur catches most of the sticky milk, smiling joyously, reaching up to claim Kai’s mouth in an exultant kiss so they can share his sugar and salt…………

The dawn sun awakens Kai from a contented dream of the aftermath, shuffling drowsily to the longhouse doors the next morning to admit a vigorously knocking Llud, his warm naked body swathed in Arthur’s blue cloak. His little brother still blissfully asleep. Their father’s shrewd grin. Lenni’s quiet happy gestures. “At last…….I was beginning to despair………”

Now, Kai stretches slowly beside the campfire, listening to Llud’s soft snoring, glancing across at the slumbering children – Kaitlin all sprawling limbs like her father, Theodore and Cedric much more decorous sleepers like Lenni.

Home today thank the gods. Time to banish bloody Dalon from his thoughts once again. After all these years……..the power of that angelic face to smite and oppress……

Then Kaitlin blinks awake, regarding him with Arthur’s intent midnight- blue gaze. “Uncle Kai…….squirrels to feed…….” And so the day begins, busy and happy and thankfully commonplace.

Why then does the shadow of that ethereal acrobatic continue to cling……..?

 

Part Five

“Welcome back.” Arthur comes striding, smiling, out of the longhouse, scoops up Kaitlin, ruffles the boys’ windswept hair. Llud is proudly displaying Olwen’s new ring to Rowena, demonstrating how the shiny teardrop garnets catch the light. Rather slowly Kai dismounts, leaning down to kiss Lenni, catching Arthur’s inquisitive eye over the top of her dark head, grinning briefly and then looking hurriedly aside. Busying himself with the pack pony.

Reflectively, Arthur chews his lip, listening to Kaitlin’s hurtling prattle about people turning themselves inside out and back again. Well, yes, the world must often seem like that to a curious two-year-old. Watching how carefully Llud is watching his elder son. Kai and Llud do not seem to have quarrelled – but then, they so rarely do anyway. Something else amiss then.

Handing their chattering daughter over to Rowena, he starts to unhook the pony’s saddle bags. Feels Kai’s warm hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright little brother. I’ll finish this. Go pour the mead – I’m thirsty and it’s almost supper time.” Those beautiful brown eyes are tender enough. Perhaps, Arthur muses, just his over-inventive imagination.

Until a little while later, at the longhouse table, when Theo and Cedric start babbling excitedly about acrobats – obviously Kaitlin’s inside out people – Theo blurts out that, “You even knew one Daddy, you spoke to him……” and is given an unusually sharp rebuke from his father to “……eat more and talk less………you haven’t been quiet for an age.”

So, the past reaching out to give an abrupt knife-edged sting………..nothing unfamiliar there, Arthur concludes……..and bloody unsettling when it pounces…….. what to be done to make it right………?

“All well?” Kai nods affably at the gate wardens, grinning to himself as he glimpses Llud slipping through the shadows to Olwen’s hut. It is certainly a handsome ring. She will be well pleased. Now, if he has timed his meandering progress right, everyone should be in bed in the longhouse. Including Arthur. Not that he is exactly avoiding his little brother. Simply, biding his time perhaps? Letting the memory of Dalon’s precipitate reappearance fade back into the shades. Everything will be alright tomorrow or the next day……….

He is halfway across the main room of the longhouse when he realises that he could have meandered until dawn without result. “Aren’t you going to join me big brother?” Arthur, sprawled in his big carved sheepskin-draped chair, beside the hearth. Holding out an inviting hand. Ah, the tides may as well resist the lure of the moon. It is actually a relief to entwine their fingers, slip to his knees, lean into Arthur’s warmth.

Silence, except for the fire’s sputtering, the whisper of Arthur’s fingers sweeping the fine blonde hair back from his forehead. “Something’s grieving you my heart.” Kai opens one eye, considers how much to say, whether to speak at all. Decides to attempt diversionary tactics.

“I was too short with Theo. He meant no harm. I shouldn’t let tiredness sharpen my tongue.” Arthur gives a quiet chuckle. “Perhaps, but I’m sure he will be fine. Remember what Llud used to do if we refused to eat something?” Relieved, Kai lays his head in Arthur’s lap. “Yes, make us sit at the table until our will failed and we ate whatever the bloody thing was – cold pottage or greasy meat or vegetables that looked like spittle.” He laughs softly against Arthur’s lean thigh.

More companionable silence………Arthur’s gentle stroking almost lulling Kai to sleep………then, hesitantly…….“You saw Dalon didn’t you?” His little brother’s resourceful mind, so perceptively coupling the joints……….

“So like you, to remember his name when I had to grapple.” Tears smothering his voice……..heavens, he’s worse than one of the children when they’re thwarted……At once Arthur is beside him among the rushes, pulling him close, tenderly kissing his mouth. “I’m sorry…….my fault…….it doesn’t matter at all……….being practical rather than intuitive as usual……forgive me my Kai.”

Giving a stifled snort of laughter, Kai returns the kiss, hard and deep. “Nothing to be sorry for beloved, unless it’s you forgiving me for being a secretive fool. Now, I’m weary to the bone and one of the door sentries might walk in and see………well, something that would alarm them more than a horde of plundering Picts. I’m off to bed. I love you.”

But, long after Kai has disappeared into the sleeping chamber, Arthur sits on beside the ebbing fire, drinking another two, three, four cups of hot mead, bitterly recollecting the past – a proud simpleton is the kindest expletive he can offer himself - before lurching drunkenly to lie down beside Rowena. Earning him a sleepy reprimand for waking her, a sleepy compliment for smelling so deliciously of cloves and honey.

He is suddenly prostrated by virulent memories of that fucking angel boy, seemingly flying without wings......... Which is no doubt why he oversleeps for once – not rising until midmorning.

Lenni greets Arthur with an amused smile. Tells him that Llud and Kai and Rowena will be up in the high meadows for most of the day. Several of the mares from Yorath are foaling. A task for which she and Arthur are particularly ill-suited. She can only deliver babies with two legs, not four, while his ignorance regarding livestock is legendary.

“Here”. Determinedly Lenni passes him a wad of bread and honey and gestures toward the three children. “Take these off my hands. I need to lay fresh rushes and there are fleeces to beat. And perhaps before you bring them home they could be dunked in the water somewhere……”

Later in the afternoon, Arthur sits down beside the lake watching the children splash around in lieu of their usual summer evening bath. All day it has been extremely hot, the low clouds ringed by fire. Waiting weather………

When he hears firm footfalls behind him he looks up hopefully…..to see Llud approaching. Their father smiles ruefully. “You were wishing I was Kai…..but he’s busy. As we all have been today – four foals delivered safely. Now the trader from Londinium is here and Rowena seems to be inspecting every piece of fabric the man possesses. Your brother has already hauled half of them into the store hut. Apparently we are all sorely in need of new breeches and shirts.” Then Llud’s forehead creases. “Is there something wrong between you?”

Slowly, Arthur shakes his head. “Not wrong no……….let’s just say I would appreciate a chance to be quiet together for a few moments.” Pursing his lips, Llud observes his gleeful grandchildren for a few moments, remaining silent as Arthur calls them out of the water and begins distributing clean clothing.

Finally, he clears his throat. “I’m aware that your brother has been a little troubled because of something……..someone we bumped into near Hereward’s encampment……. You know, young Gwyn would probably appreciate a night with his new bride…….he’s been on sentry duty up above the estuary.” Arthur laces up Kaitlin’s tunic with a purposeful flourish. “He’s only doing the usual week of guard service - no more or less than the other warriors.” Llud sighs heavily. Sometimes his younger son is unaccountably obtuse………

Patiently Llud helps Cedric into his breeches, even more patiently helps Arthur to understand what he is alluding to. “If you left now to relieve Gwyn…….perhaps your brother could follow when he is done ferrying goods. I’ll let him know - since you’ll be busy with some pesky messenger or other. Probably from that old rogue Bavick.” He opens his eyes wide. How many more hints does an intelligent man need for love of the gods?

“Oh.” Comprehension finally dawns. Grinning, Arthur shepherds the children together for Llud to take back up to the longhouse. “Llud, you’re a father in a thousand. You are certain of that aren’t you?” Llud smiles wryly. “I would have thought in a million but I’ll take the compliment while I can. By the way, the trader has brought some excellent wine and I just happen to have decided we need three, maybe four barrels. You’re welcome to unstop one if you’re so inclined……….”

The ride up to the sentry hut is steep and now the wind has suddenly decided to howl. It whips Kai’s blonde hair into curly tangles, whining ghoulishly through the summer-lush trees. Not that he minds taking over from Gwyn for a night – after all Gwyn is newly married. And as Llud has asked and Arthur is seemingly occupied with a messenger from Bavick……..Anyway, the solitude won’t be unwelcome. Since his encounter with Dalon………

Dismounting outside the hut, Kai sniffs the scent of roasted venison and aromatic burning cedar. At least Gwyn has thought to leave him some comforts. Behind him the sun is setting in a blaze of burnt orange and pale gold, the sky overhead deepening from the rich blue of day to the deeper purple of night, the brightest summer stars beginning to shine. Breathing in deeply, he is cleansed by the salty aroma of the estuary and the earthy bouquet of the nearby woods. Yes, the best plan to rest and banish all this nonsense from his silly addled head……..

 

Part Six

Pushing through the door, clutching his bedding and his axe, Kai stops abruptly, blinking in confusion. His little brother – clearly not ensconced with any messenger. A table laden with meat and fruit and bread. Rippling in soft perfumed candlelight. Shimmering with love……….

“Welcome my heart. I thought perhaps……..no more truly Llud guessed that some time away from the village might be valuable for us this evening.” Arthur takes a step closer, gently relieves Kai of the fleeces and weapon in his hands, tenderly interweaves their fingers. “You recall that I told you once I was in love with you simply because you were you…………..Well, sometimes I think I forget how miraculous you being you really is………sometimes, like tonight, I think it bodes well to remember.”

Closing his eyes, Kai leans forward, covers Arthur’s mouth fiercely with his own, threads his fingers savagely through the dark satin that falls across Arthur’s neck. He feels Arthur pull away and smile against his lips. “That’s better. You’ve seemed a little pensive since returning from Hereward’s territory. But the past is the past my Kai………..and there’s venison here falling off the bone, Llud’s wonderful new wine and Londinium grapes. Perhaps after we’ve eaten the sea air may have aroused other appetites too……….”

In the shadowy firelight, Kai casts aside his shirt, chest lean and sinewy and golden, nipples already granite hard, smile wide and dazzling and infectious. He takes a few eager steps - but Arthur makes a quick gesture of dissent, indicating that Kai should simply be still, that he has nothing else to do except relax, that it is he, Arthur, who will supply the pleasuring for now………

Teasingly Arthur brushes his thumbs across his big brother’s stiffened nipples, watching as they are deflected by each slow stroke, then immediately leap erect again - grinning as Kai’s breathing becomes frayed and laboured.

Languidly moving his warm hands downward, Arthur sweeps Kai’s flat belly, travelling along the edge of his breeches, following the contours of his slender waist, coming to rest near the willowy swell of his hips.

Suddenly predatory, Kai wrenches at his breeches, all at once standing naked. Within the flaxen delta formed by his thighs and stomach, Arthur can see his soaring cock, winging from its nest of honey fur. Trembling now, Arthur slides his fingers to the sides of Kai’s tight taut arse and pulls him close.

Kai’s massive prick is before Arthur’s wet mouth – he can feel Kai’s ripening heat and smell his musky male fragrance. Coupled with the potent wine, Arthur’s head grows light at the thought of what he’ll do next……….

As his lips whisper softly against his brother’s blonde bush, Arthur hears a sharp gasp, Kai’s low throaty murmur, “Oh fucking holy Christ…….my little brother……..my beloved……” and then his moist mouth descends to cover Kai’s towering shaft……

His tongue hungrily probing Kai’s throbbing helmet, Arthur tastes a delicious succulence, curling his tongue’s tip to catch the initial offering. Greedily he swirls the hot juice, smearing his lips. Moaning wildly, clenching his muscles, Kai pushes Arthur’s black head back against his thrusting length, thrilling to his fiery rhythmic licking.

Spreading Kai’s own salty dew back along his prodigious cock, Arthur begins to suck voraciously. Engulfing and consuming.

Without warning, Kai’s knees buckle and they fall in a laughing heap to the blankets in front of the fire. “I’m sorry my love. Not your fault……well actually yes, but……” Chuckling, Arthur tells him to hush, blows gently against his inflamed manhood to render him silent, sealing his lips again around that magnificent cock, again starts to suck.

Kai bows his back, ferociously rocks his pelvis into Arthur’s sodden mouth. His eyes shoot open, feeling the encroaching warmth, his sight of the hut’s wicker roof blurring.

He duels frenetically with the thrashing sensations, holding them determinedly at bay, desperate for the deluge to burgeon forever. Grinding his rigid prick against Arthur’s throat, Kai’s breathing becomes short and clipped, accompanied by a deep prolonged groan……

Not able to contain the pent-up tempest any longer, it unleashes in an overpowering wave of flame, rolling across Kai’s bucking body in feverish swells, radiating outwards from his pulsating cock, tautening his nipples, ensnaring his hands and feet.

His heartbeat pounds inside his head, paralleling the convulsive waves.

Releasing a muffled scream, Kai soaks Arthur’s mouth with sweet creamy come and their eyes meet in intoxicated completion………..

“Now beloved.” Sweeping Arthur’s sweat-soaked hair tenderly back from his forehead, Kai begins to kiss a fervent trail toward his little brother’s bulging length. “I believe I told you long ago that I was yours till the end of time………well in this moment……” capturing one blushing nipple deftly between his teeth……… “ that has never been more true, because………..” kneading one dusky belly button with his sinuous tongue……… “I have never desired you more……….” nuzzling one wavy sable pelt………… “ or loved you more ……..” And his warm lips surround Arthur’s rock-hard shaft……

He sucks it to brimming fruition, Arthur straddling his face. Grinning wildly, Arthur lets his swollen balls descend into Kai’s waiting mouth, grunting low in his throat as his big brother’s soft wet tongue laps at their underside, slowly grazing upwards.

Laughing exuberantly, as he slips one dewy finger inside Kai’s taut opening, forming firm little circles, providing strong probing ripples……….

With a resounding bellow of lust, Kai gazes meaningfully at Arthur. Instinctively he rolls away on to his stomach and Kai mounts behind.

Savagely Kai’s writhing tongue bristles between Arthur’s luscious cheeks, assaulting that enticing hole, brazenly stabbing. Weak with love, Arthur raises his hips, feeling Kai’s hand slipping around his aching cock, powerfully stroking.

That adventurous tongue continues to delve and lick, coating Arthur’s supple opening with juicy spit. It glistens with dark promise in the firelight………

His breath coming in panting gasps, body tensed and shuddering, Arthur ruts back against Kai’s mouth. His prick is starting to dribble over Kai’s wringing hand. For a moment Kai withdraws his slippery fingers, sliding them along Arthur’s outstretched tongue, chuckling as Arthur sucks them clean of his own salty issue.

“My heart………soon……..no……….not soon…………..now………now…….”

Mischievously Kai slithers two nimble fingers knuckle-deep into Arthur’s smooth pulsing tunnel, laughing as his twitching hole clenches, reaching forward to fondle his throbbing shaft, kiss his satiny hair.

“My Kai………” Arthur seethes desperately through gritted teeth.

Kai smiles down at his little brother’s winking cleft, sleek and shimmering with the fluids of arousal………..

Rapturously Kai’s ripe length glides in, Arthur’s slender hips butting forcibly as his hot entrance is filled and spread. Easing out a little, Kai plunges again with a stronger rhythm, driving harder, thrusting like wildfire.

Arthur grinds his hole up and down Kai’s rearing cock, swallowing it completely, embedding it deep within the frenzied embrace of his ravenous arse.

Kai’s prick arrows into his core………

The peak beckons……..the zenith glimmers…….

Together they are submerged……..and emerge glowing, brighter than the fragrant candlelight, more brilliant than the summer stars…………

 

Gwyn comes stretching and yawning to his hut door just after dawn. It has been a stirring unexpected respite. An unforeseen sensual escapade. Alright, his bride Cleonie isn’t perhaps what he would have chosen for himself – rather too round-faced and plump for his personal tastes. But still a good girl – no, a good willing audacious girl actually. His parents no doubt had his best interests at heart when they arranged the betrothal years ago.

Riding through the palisade is Arthur on his familiar white horse. Another fortuitous chance. Not many chieftains would remember that he was newly married and allow him a night away from guard duty. Their leader has obviously been up above the estuary keeping Kai company. They are as close as two brothers can be – always supporting and succouring each other.

As he dismounts though, Arthur is smiling dreamily, thinking back to something that happened the previous night after all the ……….succouring had subsided, just before he and Kai settled to sleep. His big brother had gestured toward the pile of bedding discarded beside the door several hours before. “Look in there little brother……..I brought a few things up here to study, believing I would be on my own.”

Curious, Arthur had crawled across, feeling among the fleeces, pulling out a small doeskin pouch. The pouch that he knows contains some of Kai’s most cherished possessions. A few wooden animals that Llud carved for him soon after he first came to the village………a few wavy blonde locks from the first time Lenni had cut Theo and Cedric’s hair………a rustling brown leave from the tree under which he and Arthur first kissed……..and another crinkling object……..made of parchment……a letter……..his letter, left long ago on Kai’s pillow………

“My Kai………. You are my heart………. I love you………. Forgive me. I am broken.  
Arthur.”

Kai has kept it all these years……….only nothing was broken now……..it was simply wondrous and miraculous………every day………..stretching on toward the end of time………

So nothing to do then but weep in each other’s arms…….joyful tears………because they are here and together and as one…….

Now Arthur shakes his dark head, handing his horse over to a drowsy groom, still grinning happily. Quietly Gwyn approaches, eager to render his thanks. “I’m very grateful Arthur……..maybe soon I will even have a son as sturdy as your nephews. Give me an hour and I’ll ride to relieve Kai.” Nodding in acknowledgement, Arthur turns away toward the longhouse.

“By the way.” Gwyn chuckles. “Did you spy any maundering Picts or Scots up there, have any fearless adventures?” Arthur laughs softly. “Only the most fearless young Gwyn.” And strides into the longhouse, leaving Gwyn somewhat bewildered, not guessing yet that

To love

With all your heart

Forever

Will always be the most daring, courageous adventure of all……….


End file.
